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Look, I grew up near the infamous Exorcist stairs—the ones where the priest gets launched like yesterday’s leftovers. And let me tell you, those stairs are no joke. Just like your gut on a bad detox—steep, brutal, and ready to send you tumbling.
But here’s the thing: your gut isn’t actually possessed by some vengeful food demon. It’s just pissed off because of what you’re putting it through. And if your “detox” feels more like an exorcism than a reset, then we’ve got a serious problem.
The Myth of ‘Push Through the Pain’
Somewhere along the line, we were all convinced that suffering is part of getting healthy. That if you’re not doubling over in agony, sprinting to the bathroom every 15 minutes, or feeling like you’ve been hit by a freight train, you must not be “doing it right.”
Newsflash: That’s complete nonsense.
A real detox doesn’t make you feel like you need a priest, holy water, and a full-on intervention. If your diet is making you miserable, it’s not healing—it’s punishment. And last I checked, we’re not here to torture ourselves.
Is It Detox… or Distress?
Yes, adjusting your diet can come with some mild side effects—like a dull headache or temporary fatigue as your body recalibrates. But if you’re experiencing:
❌ Non-stop nausea
❌ Bathroom emergencies that require strategic planning
❌ Fatigue that feels like you’ve been hit with a tranquilizer dart
❌ Cravings so intense you’d sell a kidney for a piece of bread
…that’s not detox. That’s your body waving a giant red flag, saying, “CHICKADEE, SERIOUSLY ... JUST STOP RIGHT NOW!”
The Cabbage Soup Curse & Other Food Nightmares
Let’s take a moment to honor those of us who have fallen victim to the Cabbage Soup Diet. You know who you are. Five days in (if you made it that far), your taste buds had abandoned you, your stomach was questioning all its life choices, and you were approximately one bowl away from throwing hands at the next person who mentioned ‘quick weight loss.’
Extreme diets don’t work. They strip your body of nutrients, wreck your gut microbiome, and leave you feeling cranky, deprived, and possibly smelling like sulfur. (Seriously, cruciferous veggies in excess? Not cute.)
Your Gut Deserves Better
Here’s the deal: if you want real results, you’ve got to work with your body, not against it. That’s exactly what we do in the 90-Day Mind & Body Reset—ditch the fads, learn how to properly fuel your body, and actually start feeling good instead of just surviving.
No starvation. No weird soup diets. No exorcisms required. Just real food, real strategies, and real results that don’t leave you wondering if you’re cursed.
But what if you’re already in gut distress and need a lifeline? Here are a few real-life ways to calm the chaos:
✅ Hydrate like your gut’s life depends on it—because it does. Dehydration can amplify detox symptoms, so make sure you’re drinking plenty of water (bonus points for adding lemon or a pinch of sea salt for extra minerals).
✅ Ease up on the fiber overload. If you’ve suddenly gone from a junk-food diet to an all-veggie cleanse, your gut might be throwing a tantrum. Slow and steady wins the race! Introduce fiber gradually to avoid bloating and discomfort.
✅ Support your digestion with simple helpers. Herbal teas like ginger or peppermint, digestive enzymes, and warm broths can help your gut process new foods without waging war.
✅ Prioritize gut-loving foods. Instead of crash diets, focus on foods that nourish your gut—fermented goodies like kimchi and sauerkraut, bone broth, and healthy fats that keep inflammation at bay.
✅ Listen to your gut (literally). If something feels wrong, it probably is. Healing isn’t supposed to be punishment. Make adjustments instead of suffering through misery.
If today’s post hit home and you’re nodding along thinking, Yep, I’ve definitely been on the diet-from-hell rollercoaster, then you’ve got to check out Kerri’s full take on why extreme diets don’t work (spoiler: your gut isn’t broken, it’s just begging for real nourishment). She dives into the truth about detoxes, fake sugars, and why suffering is not a requirement for better health. Head over to Kerri’s blog and get the full breakdown—your gut will thank you!
Ready to Heal Without the Horror?
If you’re tired of feeling like every diet is an uphill battle (or a horror movie in the making), it’s time to try something different. Let’s get your gut back on your side—because you deserve to feel strong, energized, and like the main character in your own damn life.
Join us in the 90-Day Mind & Body Reset and let’s get to work—no staircases required.
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